Misato and Shinji are extremely afraid of being hurt. They both are unsuitable–lacking the positive attitude for what people call heroes. But in any case, Misato and Shinji are the heroes of this stories. - Hideaki Anno
his scene is loaded. there’s a whole constellation of themes that are finally being realized here, as shinji and misato – the two protagonists of NGE – share one of their more subtly powerful exchanges before everything goes to proverbial shit. this is the last ‘real’ moment of the show; come episode 25 and the audience is catapulted right into the throes of instrumentality.
a lot of people don’t know why misato says what she says, and what it actually means - for her, for shinji, and for kaworu (and others!). here’s my attempt at teasing some of that out.
discussions of self-alienating love, suicidal idealization, becker, feuerbach, and various other revelations below.
Misato’s been called every variation of ‘heartless’ under the sun for how she reacts to Kaworu’s death. But there lies a problem: she’s not reacting to Kaworu’s death. She’s not talking about Kaworu at all.
Misato is actually talking about Kaji. She’s attempting to justify Kaji’s death to herself – and as an accompanying corollary, her father’s.
In the initial drafts, Kaworu was created as a kind of Kaji-analogue for Shinji; a plot vehicle through which Shinji can understand and experience Misato’s loss by proxy of losing Kaworu. Before Asuka’s and Rei’s encounters with Areal and Armisael were written in as tragic heavyweights, Kaworu’s death was supposed to send Shinji into a grievous spiral not unlike Misato’s (and crucially, Gendo’s). Kaworu’s death still has all desired effect, of course, but in the proposal Rei II didn’t die and Asuka didn’t suffer through her debilitating psychological attack. These parallels remain intact in the finished version, and voila – Kaji, Kaworu, (and Yui) stand as visual/thematic cousins:
Exhibit One: Hands in pockets – body language most commonly indicating duality. (Here, have more.)
I’ve said this before, but Yui, Kaji, and Kaworu are the “love interests” of each of the three generational triads of Evangelion. (And each triad is helmed by Gendo, Misato, and Shinji, respectively.) Why is this relevant? Because Kaji, Kaworu, and Yui - besides their more superficial attributes, i.e the stepford smiling, the philosophical bents, the tragic ends - all exhibit what Becker refers to as death wish, or passive suicidal idealization.
Exhibit Two: Presented without commentary.
There’s a bit of Feuerbach’s religious-self alienating philosophy going on here. In summary:
Feuerbach argues that people subconsciously project their best traits onto romantic/religious figures: Kaworu, being the most “divine” unit in the triad, embodies both in equanimity. Humans self-alienate themselves by denying themselves internal validation, instead seeking it externally via romantic/religious figures.
What’s so cool about Eva’s love triad is that Kaji, Yui, and Kaworu position themselves on different axi of the human-turned-divine grid:
Feuerbach says self-alienating love is one of our most insidious cognitive failings, because we deny our own “goodness” by falsely attributing it to someone else – and as it is the case, romantic/religious figures are always either mortal, transient, or false - or all of the above.
Ernest Becker is all over Evangelion, too, and he takes this concept one step further. In lieu of summary, this quote will do:
After all, what is it that we want when we elevate the love partner to the position of God? We want redemption – nothing less. We want to be rid of our faults, our feeling of nothingness. We want to be justified, to know that our creation has not been in vain. We turn to the love partner for the experience of the heroic, for perfect validation; we expect them to “make us good” through love. Needless to say, human partners can’t do this. The lover does not dispense cosmic heroism; he cannot give absolution in his own name. The reason is that as a finite being he too is doomed, and we read that doom in his own fallibilities, in his very deterioration. Redemption can only come from outside the individual, from beyond, from our conceptualization of the ultimate source of things, the perfection of creation.
- The Denial of Death, p. 167 (via circuitbird)
(This quote is as much a comment on Gendo and Yui’s relationship as it is a comment on The Human Instrumentality Project as it is a comment on… everything else Evangelion. Further reading ahead.)
When Misato listens to Shinji talk about Kaworu at the end of Episode 24, she’s making implicit mental connections. She’s being reminded (consciously or subconsciously) of Kaji’s complementary death wish. But Misato, like Shinji, hasn’t yet overcome this cognitive hurdle and feels the need to justify Kaji’s death in her mind – it’s the only way she knows how make sense of her loss.
Because Misato is all about survival. She’s all about exercising control through practical justification and un-mystic rationality. That quote from Episode 7, “Acts of men are better than acts of God?” Hugely relevant. She says that people who don’t have the will to live (Yui, Kaji, and Kaworu) don’t deserve to live. Mind: Gendo, Shinji, and Misato are the primal movers in the series who are forced to grapple with the loss of their respective love interests. There’s a lot to be said about Shinji’s coping methods after Kaworu’s death – well, here’s Misato’s way.