rei is the most tragic character in evangelion and that has everything to do with her becoming a goddess in eoe
it’s long been established that goddesshood is the pinnacle of femininity, because goddesshood is glorified objecthood: and objects, even divine and powerful ones, can’t be loved - they can be worshipped, idolized, and influential, but evangelion says that love is human and love depends first upon one’s ability to be empathized with. (that’s why it’s called cruel angel’s thesis, btw - angels can’t be loved). goddesshood requires no humanity, no feelings, and an inability to be empathized with, only worshipped and/or feared
when rei – who was already introduced as a girl who had trouble “being human” – becomes a goddess in eoe, she’s essentially carrying out the ultimate goal of femininity by molding herself into a vessel out of gendo’s cathexis, transferred to his son. i already mentioned how gendo symbolizes masculinity in that he is totally dependent on divine feminine energy: in keeping with the child/parent motif, shinji takes gendo’s place and rei appears to him as a goddess. notice when shinji reminisces the “friends he wants to see again”, rei’s head is blocked by shinji’s face (this groupshot includes all the characters who can come back if they want to: hence kaworu’s absence & rei getting literally and metaphorically photobombed by shinji’s smiling face). when asuka and shinji wake up on the beach, rei is a hallucination at best, and a forgotten and lonely spirit at worst
there’s also tragedy in not being a goddess – the “feminine imperfection” symbolized by asuka, misato, and ritsuko. the point is that there is no way for the girls/women to simply BE, to be human (”at least, be human”) without gendered pain. the irony inherent in kaworu, a nonhuman, still being able to choose the circumstances of his death (as the angel of free will) despite his inhumanity is 100% explained by his perceived gender as a boy while rei and the rest of the girls/women are barred from a proper self-determined death
this show is all about people seeking objectifying love instead of humanizing love, and hurting, limiting, and depriving themselves in pursuit of that objectifying love. the (other) point is that everyone needs love, including rei – but rei can never, ever be allowed it
fixation (german: fixierung) is a concept in human psychology to denote object relationships with and attachments to things in general persisting from childhood into adult life.
Anno Hideaki has often admitted to drawing much of his Evangelion inspiration from vintage UK sci-fi and media (check out the character comparisons charts for Gerry Anderson’s UFO or The Avengers British original, to name a few) but this one takes the cake.
but for real, stop the “asuka abused shinji” shit. it needs to die.
when people say “asuka abused shinji”, i almost want to ask: what exactly are you referring to when you use a loaded term for a traumatized 13 year old girl in reference to her incredibly complex dynamic with a boy who would later go on and attempt to kill her twice? the fact that asuka is seemingly louder, more abrasive, and more unapologetically bitter than the seemingly meek, soft-willed shinji? is that abuse? the fact that asuka calls shinji stupid? is that abuse?
the fact that asuka doesn’t screen her righteous anger through a filter of kindness when she calls shinji out for his shit? is that abuse? or is it asuka, physically pushing shinji away from her after he invades her space and demands that she be nice to him? is that abuse?
when shinji sexually assaulted asuka at her lowest point? did asuka abuse shinji? when shinji tried to kill asuka for not shutting up as she yells at him for objectifying her? when shinji tried to kill asuka again, after figuring out that he’ll be stuck with her for an indefinite period of time? did asuka abuse shinji with her response - a gentle stroke of the cheek, that frankly, shinji did not deserve?
the best thing about evangelion is that every single characteris initially introduced as having a “superficial self” up until the point where that shatters, and it is revealed to the audience that their ‘true self’ is in fact the exact opposite of their superficial self. shinji ikari, for all his pain and suffering and trauma, is introduced as the meek nonviolent boy inclined to retreat from any and all contact. up until anno rips the rug from underneath us – shinji ikari, quickly jumping on the chance to hurt asuka when it finally dawns on him that she’ll never be who he wants her to be. asuka? asuka is introduced as the violent and self-absorbed girl – a stark contrast to shinji – until that, too, crumbles. cue the last scene in end of evangelion: shinji’s trying to kill asuka –shinji’s literally the manifestation of every stereotype normally attributed to asuka, here – and what does asuka do? she responds with clemency and mercy and grace. she caresses his face. the real shinji (all bite, no bark) vs the real asuka (all bark, no bite).
and then – just like that – the story of evangelion ends.
asuka and shinji’s dynamic is destructive and ugly and unhealthy, but the cards were never stacked in asuka’s favor. they were always stacked in shinji’s.
it’s mindblowing how the phrase “the beginning and the end are one and the same” is so deeply entrenched in evangelion’s main narrative. forget about rebuild’s loops (for now), because it’s ridiculously important in the original series, too
ever wonder why asuka’s debut episode takes place in the ocean? because asuka emerges from the ocean, kicking and screaming, in end of evangelion. and to top it all off, rei’s bookend appearances in episode 1 and end of evangelionrespectively recapitulate the overarching concept of alpha and omega so perfectly.
To think people discredit the legitimacy of kawoshin because of the lack of obvious sexual attraction between them takes me aback. That is the whole reason WHY kawoshin is so real and important and why shinji is so head over heels for kaworu
Throughout the whole series shinji is put into sexual situations. He is mocked and harassed for not experiencing sexual attraction i.e. them making fun of him for not wanting to bang misato, assuming his want to understand rei is because he wants her. He gets teased by adults to be more sexual (i.e. misato and then kaji in the rebuild which /:) and is constantly put in a sexual eye by asuka because of her own conditioned views of sexuality. He is surrounded by it and confused by it and hes obviously uncomfortable but he also seems to be frustrated that being close to someone must mean something sexual and it confuses him further
Then kaworu comes along. Kaworu doesnt expect any of this from him. They sit together naked and its nothing sexual. They just hold hands. They sleep together and its not sexual. Shinji feels for the first time he can open up to someone. Kaworu just loves him and showers him in affection. They learn and talk together. Theres nothing sexual there but thats what makes it so special. Its why shinji is so happy. Hes surrounded by this push to be sexual and he finally founds someone who will love him and not necessarily want that. He found someone who helps him understand that he can be loved regardless of that. Kaworu loved
him without any conditions
yikes. this is an ugly post, and we need to collectively move beyond this line of thinking, asap
newsflash: people don’t discredit the legitimacy of kawoshin because “it wasn’t obvious enough” or “there wasn’t any sexual attraction” - people discredit the legitimacy of kawoshin because of the wonderful intersection between homophobia and misogyny. people discredit the legitimacy of kawoshin because they are obsessed with het ships; they are obsessed with asuka; they are obsessed with shoving asuka into het ships that sanitize and make her complacent, especially with the boy mc who has tremendous power over her, the boy mc who has tried to kill her twice, the boy mc who barged into her hospital room, saw her emaciated and comatose, and demanded that she help him despite of it, the boy mc who deliberately locked her hospital room door before masturbating to her body. people discredit the legitimacy of kawoshin because they are obsessed with the ‘de-bitchfiying narrative’ by which asuka, The Red Devil, is knocked down a few pegs. if you’ve ever read evageeks or other asushin-dominated spaces it becomes evidently clear that shipping asushin for asushinners isn’t so much about not finding “merit” in kawoshin – they don’t care if kawoshin was “subtle” or “overt” b/c it literally does not matter to them. they’re homophobes. – rather, it’s about asuka, and their obsession with asuka fulfilling the perfect waifu role, with shinji
but how interesting that this whole second paragraph conveniently neglects/erases the fact that shinji was pervasively objectifying+sexualizing asuka (and rei! and misato!) throughout the entire show. did you forget wall of jericho, where shinji lingers at asuka’s breasts before responding? (but shinji doesn’t act like kensuke and toji do around misato, so that must mean he doesn’t sexualize her, uwu!!) or when asuka falls in his bed and shinji ogles at her breasts before attempting to kiss her in her sleep? (but asuka forced him into that uncomfortable situation, uwu!!) or the entirety of eoe, where it’s revealed that shinji is deeply repulsed by overt displays of sexuality on part of asuka+misato but secretly gets off to them, because he objectifies them, because shinji cannot comprehend the fact that women can be more than a mother, a madonna, or a whore? where shinji yells at asuka, misato, and rei (yes! even rei!) for not attending to his needs while his subconscious projects smiling, placated, and most importantly naked images of asuka, misato, and rei gazing at him fondly in the foreground? ‘men/boys feeling uncomfortable w/ “female sexuality” whilst simultaneously objectifying them for it’ is a classic misogynist cocktail - i.e the boy frustrated at patriarchy who copes by retaliating against women - this theme resurrects itself in evangelion (and other works) over and over and over again
but is this all just… not mentioned because it taints smol birb infantilized fandom shinji? because it attacks the dominating narrative that vilifies asuka, the very same narrative that paints her as an abuser and/or “equally complacent in the asuka-shinji abuse”, the narrative that claims asuka levies power over shinji and not the other way around?
and of course shinji and kaworu can sit, bathe, and sleep together sans sexual objectification from either side – shinji loves kaworu. kaworu is the only character in the show shinji loved and respected. like, that’s the whole point. shinji, like all boys under patriarchy, objectifies girls/women as a desperate vie for control. shinji does not feel the need to exercise power over kaworu because they are equally matched, their love is equally matched. c+p’ing this to underscore:
Specifically, it is important that Shinji takes to Kaworu immediately and how Kaworu’s Position as being a boy affects the way Shinji receives him.
Shinji’s sexual assault on Asuka in EOE is 100% motivated by Asuka being a girl and Shinji being a boy, and is about power and overpowering someone who is more vulnerable than you. & When you truly, truly look at who Shinji has the power to hurt the most, it all leads to Asuka. He objectifies Asuka, he sexually abuses Asuka in the hospital room, he strangles Asuka twice. The way that Asuka protects herself verbally as a defense mechanism is contrasted with the extremely violent ways that Shinji seeks power over her.
These events do relate to Kaworu, too, because who immediately resolves to forgive Shinji and encourage Shinji to forgive himself for whatever sins he may have committed? The thing with that is that it’s not exactly Kaworu’s place to do that, but Asuka’s.
i am so tired of these infantilizing metas that implicitly suggest shinji’s assaults on asuka are not shinji’s fault, but asuka’s, metas that obscure and shove context neatly under the rug. shinji is an incredibly complex character, and he’s one of my personal favorites, but yikes. yikes. yikes.
i’ve been thinking a lot about misato, and why she resorts to alcohol and sex, specifically as means of self-medication/preservation
obviously there’s this tendency to characterize her as this errant drunkard, despite the fact that she only saves her binge-drinking for the home. she’s smart as hell - we know that misato hates the dark, that darkness begets all these traumatic memories of second impact – and i like to think that misato literally drinks herself to sleep every night, quite plainly self-medicating with alcohol, harnessing the ways in which it suppresses debilitating memories and emotions so she can function during her waking hours, as a military officer no less: a functional alcoholic in every sense of the term
and with regards to sex; how misato’s childhood is characterized by a very conservative, purity-fixated upbringing, and then the trauma of years long isolation in a bare-bones holding cell with no means of communication, no therapeutic companionship, just a couple of toys to keep her sound. for years. sex, for obvious reasons, so intensely connecting person to person in the most tangible form… misato’s going to find that especially useful in preserving function, feeling alive (”to prove i exist”) versus the isolation symbolically associated with death. (it’s interesting, then, when misato is shoved into a holding cell again in episode 21, kaji dies the very same day.)
but much the same with alcohol, misato exerts this unbelievable amount of self-control and restricts her sexual expression to just one person - yet shame and guilt plague her still, shame that shapes and defines how she thinks others are perceiving her as a woman. misato has self-surveillance, self-awareness, and self-policing in incredible spades. she’s only allowed herself to ‘medicate’ under very narrow, very specific contexts, and that’s pretty fascinating, i think
So, I recently discovered that the yellow shirt worn by Asuka during Episode 9, 15, and End of Evangelion is not actually Asuka’s shirt. It’s Misato’s.
I’m not pointing out this seemingly insignificant fact for the fun of it – because it definitely seems like a trivial, if not somewhat interesting, little detail – but like most things in Evangelion, Anno’s taken steps to imbue it with hidden and revealing character subtext. Eva often uses sequences of recurring, outwardly unimportant visual cues to tie some underlying theme to a character or characters. So why a yellow shirt? Turns out, it’s actually a pretty interesting symbol for womanhood and ill-fitting sexual expression.
re: gendo ikari, and how gendo as a character is talked about within the fandom and the selective attention/dissonance that’s implicit in the framing of him solely as “The Bad Dad™”
when i think of gendo, i don’t necessarily zero in on his shitty parenting, because that’s basically a given for any parent in eva ever. i think of his using women – orienting women so that they directly (rei, naoko, ritsuko) or indirectly (misato, asuka) further his goals. obviously yui (and rei iii, since she’s ‘half’ yui) beatifically trumps his ace in eoe, but for the most part, he exercised unlimited amounts of emotional, physical, and psychological control on rei i+ii (and the whole thing is excruciatingly uncomfortable and suggestive in its visual language - something that i hardly, if ever, see people talk about); he used naoko/ritsuko for their minds and their bodies; it’s suggested that he deliberately capitalized on misato’s righteous anger by allowing her access into the paramilitary+gehrin, and what would later become nerv. remember when fumihiko tachiki said that gendo embodies the central core of evangelion, in that everyone’s moving around him while he stays still? passive, atypical control – even his relationship with shinji is unassertively neglectful. gendo doesn’t need to do anything because he’s relying on what’s dubbed ‘divine feminine energy’ (ultimately realized in lilith, his secret ace in the hole) to do his bidding for him.
i’m not very interested in gendo commentary/analysis/etc that acts like his neglectful parenting is the main cornerstone of his character, especially since that doesn’t uniquely differentiate him as a character from dr. katsuragi, naoko akagi, asuka’s father, etc. gendo being a terribad father isn’t the point – gendo is more so an expression of insidious power, masculinity, and immortality. and i think people stress on his parenting because shinji is the main character, and by being constantly privy to shinji’s adolescent frustrations and anxieties it’s harder to see how shinji and gendo are so fundamentally alike – more than anyone is willing or ready to admit. because what does shinji end up doing with his adolescent frustrations and anxieties? he takes them out on asuka, rei, and misato. the “gendo as the nondescript, one-note evil mastermind dad and shinji as the flawless cinnamon roll we must protect at all costs” is so hilariously ironic for that reason.
